A crazy year....

It has been a year and one day since I have posted on this blog...crazy.  So many things have taken place since that last post.  I quit the job I had and went to an early learning center called Imagination Island.  I started working as the 2 year old teacher and within 2 months, I was the Assistant Director.  I'm currently in the same position and really enjoy the people I work with and the work that I do.  I, however, have had some deeper issues.  Russ left for Japan in early June.  He should be back around Thanksgiving or Christmas.  The life of a military family is so unpredictable.  We just suck it up and wait.  I have been very sad as of late.  I know that it is my fault for feeling this way.  It doesn't have to be like this..  I think that I have had an attitude of not wanting to let people get too close.  My home is Oklahoma and always will be.  I almost feel like if I start to let this become home it will be some sort of betrayal.  Why can't I just be normal!

Russ and I have made a commitment to make our family Christ centered and even though he is away...I'm trying to change some things and make sure that Sadie has the foundation she needs.  I want to start to serve in some capacity at church and get involved in classes.  I have managed to find excuses though every time some opportunity comes up.  I need to make the time and effort to get involved. This summer was very eye opening for me as well.  Mom and Lana came to stay with us for a month and Lana really needs that foundation.  We are not with her but maybe a few weeks out of the year but when we have her we need to demonstrate and show Christ love to her.  She will make her own decisions and unfortunately her mother will shape some of those decisions.  We must do our best during the time that we have her.

My next thing is that I have been asking God to give me a dream.  Our pastor at church has been teaching on this.  Everyone should have a dream...and it should come from God.  This way we are serving him while working towards our dream.  I have been asking very specifically for a dream...and I've been waiting to hear what it is.  I've been asking for God to open my eyes, my ears, and my heart to hear him during this time.  I feel stretched beyond my limits sometimes but I know that God has a plan for me and my family...I just want to hear what it is....

I'm hoping to stay more on top of this blog...and maybe not one person will read it, but it is therapeutic for me to get some things down.